{"id":2593,"date":"2021-08-22T13:00:43","date_gmt":"2021-08-22T20:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hopelcs.ca\/church\/pentecost-12-sunday-august-15-2021-copy\/"},"modified":"2021-08-20T15:06:14","modified_gmt":"2021-08-20T22:06:14","slug":"pentecost-13-sunday-august-22-2021","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hopelcs.ca\/church\/pentecost-13-sunday-august-22-2021\/","title":{"rendered":"Pentecost 13 &#8211; August 22, 2021"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3 style=\"text-align: center\"><strong>\u201cSubmitting to One Another\u201d &#8211; Ephesians 5:[21]22-33<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4><strong>Introduction: <\/strong>love, weddings, marriage<\/h4>\n<p>There aren\u2019t very many places in the Bible that we hear about weddings and marriage. I have often said that there are probably only two actual weddings in the Bible &#8211; one wedding at Cana where Jesus turned water into wine at the reception, and one where Old Testament Jacob went in to lie with his bride on their wedding night and found out the next morning that he had actually been deceived into sleeping with the wrong sister. Those accounts don\u2019t really tell us what ancient Jewish weddings were like. In fact, we probably learn more about wedding customs from Jesus\u2019 parable of the 5 wise and 5 foolish virgins in Matthew 25.<\/p>\n<p>Last Sunday, as I was being chauffeured from Kitimat to Terrace, my host and driver brought up the topic of how the church views common-law marriage, and what defines marriage Biblically, in God\u2019s eyes. I responded with two points:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>First, I said to him that the church has generally accepted the definition of marriage according to the laws of the land. But you and I know that that legal and federal definition of marriage changed in Canada 16 years ago, and in some countries or jurisdictions polygamy is acceptable. So, defining marriage has become more complex for us Bible-believing Christians.<\/li>\n<li>Second, I also admitted that I have struggled with a definition of marriage for the last 3 decades or so because the Bible doesn\u2019t explicitly say when marriage begins. It seemed to me &#8211; based on the Jacob story and a few other similar ones &#8211; that marriage was defined in the Bible by the phrase: \u201cHe went in and lay with her.\u201d Does that mean a consensual physical relationship begins marriage rather than that legal document signed by a bride and groom and two witnesses and the officiant? Muddy\u2026 complex\u2026 Oh, and if the physical relationship does begin marriage in God\u2019s eyes, there are a lot of people that are married to one another and they don\u2019t even realize it, AND there are a lot of people who are married to multiple partners and they don\u2019t even realize it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>There are some other Bible passages about love and marriage. The Old Testament book called Song of Solomon describes the beauty and sensuality of a couple that intensely longs for one another through their courtship. 1 Corinthians 13, with it\u2019s \u201cLove is patient, love is kind\u201d poetic message, is often read at weddings even though a marriage relationship is not the context. In the Gospels, Jesus addresses the question posed to Him about divorce by some Pharisees. In His answer, He points back to the creation account which says, \u201cTherefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.\u201d That was even quoted in our Ephesians 5 Epistle reading today.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>1. Genesis 2 &#8211; Three aspects of marriage<\/h4>\n<p>So, if we go back to that sentence from Genesis 2, we find that God, Himself, describes three aspects of marriage. First there is the leaving. This is the public and legal aspect of marriage. Marriage isn\u2019t only a private act between two people &#8211; the one flesh part. Really, there is no marriage without a wedding, for marriage impacts the extended family, the friends, and the community. Leaving refers to both the man and the woman. They both are to be independent from their parents and in-laws as they start a new family unit.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Second, there is holding fast, or cleaving as some older translations of the Bible say. Cleaving is the personal aspect of marriage. The Hebrew word for \u2018cleave\u2019 literally means \u2018to stick to\u2019, \u2018to paste\u2019, \u2018to be glued to a person\u2019. Cleaving can only happen between two persons. Cleaving means that you are closest to each other; no one, no thing gets in between. Cleaving is really love, a mature love, a decision to be faithful to one another through all of life.<\/p>\n<p>Third &#8211; the two become one flesh. This is the physical aspect of marriage. The physical union of husband and wife is also God\u2019s will. It is as near and dear to God as are the legality and the faithfulness. \u2018One flesh\u2019 means to share everything \u2013 your bodies, yes, but also your possessions, your thoughts and feelings, your joys, your sufferings, your hopes, your fears, your successes, your failures. Physical union is not in and of itself marriage or love, but rather grows out of leaving and cleaving love.<\/p>\n<p>The three parts of marriage are inseparable &#8211; public, personal, physical. If one is missing the marriage is not complete. Only those who leave and cleave can become one flesh.<\/p>\n<p>OK\u2026 let\u2019s lighten things up a bit with a story. One man was telling another, \u201cMy wife got angry last night and we had a fight.\u2019 His friend asked, \u201cHow did it end up?\u201d The first man replied, \u201cWhy, she came crawling to me on her hands and knees.\u201d \u201cWhat did she say?\u201d the curious friend asked again. Hesitating and embarrassed, the man finally answered, \u201cShe said, \u2018Come out from under the bed, you coward.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now that is not exactly a positive example of a marriage relationship.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>\u00a02. Another challenging teaching?<\/h4>\n<p>It\u2019s time to get to perhaps the most significant Bible passage about marriage &#8211; the one we heard in Ephesians 5, the one that began \u201cWives, submit to your own husbands\u2026\u201d Last week, my sermon was about those difficult teachings of Jesus. This is another one of those challenging passages, and maybe all the women are ready to turn back from following Jesus because of it, just like some of Jesus\u2019 followers in John 6 left their discipleship because of that \u201ceat my body, drink my blood\u201d teaching of Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, just so the men don\u2019t feel left out, there is a challenging word for them, too. \u201cHusbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.\u201d Husbands, if you are not willing to die for your wife, then following Jesus may not be for you either. But let\u2019s not make such decisions rashly or superficially. Let\u2019s dig deeper\u2026<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>3. The context &#8211; commands and participles<\/h4>\n<p>The few verses that we heard from Ephesians 5 last week included 5 verbs and 5 participles. The verbs were all imperatives, commands: look, do not be foolish, understand (the Lord\u2019s will), do not get drunk, be filled (with the Spirit). Participles &#8211; often words ending in \u2018ing\u2019 &#8211;\u00a0 are helping words, and in this passage they describe how a person lives out those 5 commands in the power of, the fullness of the Holy Spirit. The participles are: speaking (psalms and hymns and songs), singing, making melody, giving thanks (to God), and submitting (to one another).<\/p>\n<p>Usually participles qualify the previous verb which in this case is \u201cbe filled (with the Spirit).\u201d Our reading today, then, is a continuing description of how the Christian lives wisely, in accord with the will of the Lord, and having been filled with the Holy Spirit.<\/p>\n<p>In Greek, the participle \u2018submitting\u2019 is found only in verse 21 where it says \u201csubmitting to one another,\u201d but it also applies to the responsibility of wives to their husbands in verse 22. So, first, we submit to one another. That action applies to all of God\u2019s people as we live in relationship with one another. The word \u2018submit\u2019 &#8211; whether it\u2019s a verb or a participle &#8211; refers to placing yourself under someone else, to a voluntary yielding in love. As such, it\u2019s a word of humility, rather than one of domination.<\/p>\n<p>The submitting, the yielding, is explained in three different relationships that follow &#8211; the wife\/husband relationship in chapter 5, then in chapter 6 the parent\/child relationship, and the slave\/master relationship. In each one, a conciliatory attitude will help that relationship to work appropriately and to be mutually beneficial and satisfying.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>4. Submitting \/ Loving<\/h4>\n<p>In verse 21, the submitting, the yielding is done out of reverence for Christ. The Greek word is \u2018phobos\u2019 from which we get our English word \u2018phobia.\u2019 However, we are not to yield to others with a paralyzing fear of Christ. Rather we do it out of reverence or respect for Christ. And that\u2019s how Paul applies the wife to husband yielding. He counsels those women who reverence Christ to reverence their husbands, too, and to do that by submitting. God calls men to lead as the spiritual head of the home and of the marriage. Humbly following that lead is the kind and gentle attitude that God is asking from wives.<\/p>\n<p>As I mentioned, Paul is wise for he doesn\u2019t leave the \u2018submit\u2019 aspect of the relationship dangling. Husbands demonstrate that \u201csubmitting to one another\u201d differently. Whereas wives were directed with a participle, the Scripture instructs husbands with an imperative. A couple of verses later, he turns to the men, the husbands. \u201cOK, guys, you\u2019ve gotta love your wives, too. And I don\u2019t mean in the \u201ctwo become one flesh\u201d kind of way. I mean you\u2019ve really gotta love your wife with everything you\u2019ve got, in a self-sacrificing, voluntary yielding of yourself kind of way\u2026 like Jesus loved the church, like He loved YOU, and gave Himself up for you. Yeah, you know what He did for you, right? He died for you!! He DIED for you!! That\u2019s how I want you to love your wives. That\u2019s how much I want you to love your wives.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And a couple of verses later again, Paul writes, \u201chusbands should love their wives as their own bodies.\u201d That doesn\u2019t mean that they should care for their wives just as they care for their own physical needs. After all, the two have become one flesh &#8211; the husband and the wife are one body. Not to care for his wife would mean not caring for part of his own body.<\/p>\n<p>To love as Christ loved the Church, to give one\u2019s self up to death for your beloved wife is a more extreme expression of devotion than the wife is called on to make in her submission to and reverence for her husband. You see, what Paul is saying is that it\u2019s not a one-sided submission, but a reciprocal, self-giving relationship. When a woman has a husband who loves her deeply and genuinely, that\u2019s what she needs for her security and strength.<\/p>\n<p>A couple celebrated 70 years of marriage. They were of German stock, and you may know that can mean strong-willed and stubborn. Their marriage endured significant disagreements on a regular basis, probably with choice words spoken &#8211; hopefully no pots and pans thrown. Their pastor asked them how they stayed together for 70 years. The husband replied that every night, no matter how mad they might be with one another, they would hold hands in bed and pray the Lord\u2019s Prayer. He said that each time they got to \u201cforgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,\u201d their anger melted into forgiving love.<\/p>\n<p>Wow!! If that\u2019s what Jesus is teaching us about marriage today, then I\u2019m ready to run after Him in discipleship rather than turn away because He\u2019s asking me to give up my life in love and because He\u2019s asking my wife to yield to me in love.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>5. Fulfillment &#8211; giving, not taking<\/h4>\n<p>You see, submitting to one another, voluntarily yielding to your beloved has its own blessings and finds its own fulfillment, because fulfillment comes not in taking but in giving. Self-centeredness &#8211; which is all about taking &#8211; actually works against the \u2018us\u2019 of a marriage. If all you are interested in is what benefits you, what makes you feel good, what you want to do, where you want to go, how you want life to be, someday your spouse is going to figure out that you\u2019re not interested in living in a marriage relationship\u2026 you would rather do your own thing. In fact, that person may very well figure that out before he or she says, \u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s our sinful nature that desires to live as though we were single even though we are married. It\u2019s our sinful nature that desires to live as though we were single even though we are part of the Bride of Christ, the Church. Our sinful nature leads us to an attitude and lifestyle that puts us first and the other person second. Our sinful nature makes our priorities personal and self-serving rather than for the good of the marriage or of the community of believers. Our sinful nature puts the emphasis on ME &#8211; what can I get, what can I take, what is good for ME.<\/p>\n<p>In contrast, fulfillment in a marriage or in life comes through giving\u2026 giving of one\u2019s self, through submitting, through yielding one\u2019s rights and privileges and desires for the good of the beloved. That turns ME into WE. Giving of yourself is the most precious gift one can give and it deepens rather than cheapens a relationship. It makes WE the important thing, not ME.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4>6. Christ the Bridegroom<\/h4>\n<p>How can we fulfill God\u2019s design for relationship and live in humble and loving submission to one another? The answer comes through Christ. He is the Heavenly Bridegroom &#8211; the perfect, divine model. He was motivated purely by love &#8211; love for YOU! Instead of asserting His privileges and rights and position and authority as the Son of God, He freely subjected Himself to the Law, took on your sin, and even gave Himself over to a shameful death on the cross. He did that to fulfill God\u2019s purpose.<\/p>\n<p>Paul explains: In Baptism, He cleanses us by washing us with water and the Word. He presents us before God as His holy, blameless bride, restoring our right relationship with Him. He unites us with Christ and makes us part of His Body, the Church. He loves His Church deeply. He loves YOU deeply. From the very beginning &#8211; when that first man and first woman were joined together to become one flesh &#8211; from the very beginning, God designed marriage to be a Gospel picture of Christ and the Church.<\/p>\n<p>If you wives have a tough time with this teaching from St. Paul &#8211; from God &#8211; about submitting to your husband, remember and give thanks that you are part of the Church that submits to the leadership (and Lordship!) of Jesus Christ. Submit as you do to the Lord. If you husbands have a tough time with this teaching from God about loving your wives, remember and give thanks that Jesus loved YOU enough to give up His very life for you, then love your wife like that. I\u2019ll leave Paul with the last word: \u201cLet each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.\u201d Amen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cSubmitting to One Another\u201d &#8211; Ephesians 5:[21]22-33 &nbsp; Introduction: love, weddings, marriage There aren\u2019t very many places in the Bible that we hear about weddings and marriage. I have often said that there are probably only two actual weddings in the Bible &#8211; one wedding at Cana where Jesus turned water into wine at the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[58],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2593","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Pentecost 13 - August 22, 2021 - Hope Lutheran Church Port Coquitlam<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/hopelcs.ca\/church\/pentecost-13-sunday-august-22-2021\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Pentecost 13 - August 22, 2021 - Hope Lutheran Church Port Coquitlam\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cSubmitting to One Another\u201d &#8211; Ephesians 5:[21]22-33 &nbsp; Introduction: love, weddings, marriage There aren\u2019t very many places in the Bible that we hear about weddings and marriage. 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